My best friend is coming from the States today. We are very close and I decided to go to receive him at the air port. I come from a small town and I have been brought up in a simple but educated family, where education was more important than display of material possessions. I have had my own share of struggles and life is progressing on the “thoda hai, thode ki jaroorat hai” lines. .  I have worked hard and achieved a position at a very young age. All my colleagues are all high profile people. However, till date I have never travelled by plane (But I cherish in my heart the dream of visiting all the wonderful places on this planet and I am confident that I will realize it.)  I was bit excited and a bit tensed at the thought of visiting the air port. I had never ever been to air port, not even to receive any one.  Several thoughts like, how should I enter the airport, whether I have to buy a platform ticket, whether I have to undergo security checks, where will  the plane land, from where my friend will come, kept on haunting me.  Lyra disturbed my chain of thoughts and kept the letters which she had typed on my table.  Should I ask her, a thought crept in my mind.   Lyra was our Steno typist and had a lot of relatives in gulf. But what would she think when she would came to know that I have never ever travelled by plane in my life.  She was very good at gossiping. I would be a standing joke if all my office colleagues came to know that I had never travelled by plane. My intercom rang; my boss had called me to his chambers. I discussed work with him. My boss would travel many a times from one country to another for official work. Should I ask him how to reach the air port and enquire whether I have to buy a platform ticket before entering the air port. But would he laugh at my ignorance? I felt pity at myself that I have never ever travelled in my life by flight. I started feeling depressed.  Depression and hunger are closely associated. Right from the time we are infants we associate food with happiness. When a young one cries, his mother feeds him and the child feels happy. So I decided to get out of this depressing situation by finding happiness through food. I stepped down from my office situated on the sixth floor.   I decided to cherish a burger available at the nearby churchgate station.  I paid twenty bucks and bought the coupon for a vegetable burger. There were some urchins begging to the commuters who were gormandizing fast food at the stand and eat eatery.  Suddenly a thought crept in my mind. I am fortunate than these kids. I have at least the money to eat whatever I wish. Even if I want to travel by air, I can book a ticket for me at any point of time. Given my education and my standing, it is not too distant future that I will fly. Rather it may so happen that I will travel only by flight. There is nothing wrong or disgraceful in enquiring the formalities at the air port. There is always a first time. However I did not muster the courage to enquire to any of my colleagues. I called up my friend, Sagar whom I was going to receive. I expressed my apprehensions. “Aree Mahesh I will be landing at Delhi and taking a domestic flight for Mumbai. So you will have to come at the domestic air port. It is just like a railway station. Only see that you come at arrivals.  Arrivals and departures are at different places And you need not buy any ticket!”  said Sagar. My best friend did not ridicule me and understood my apprehensions. I am happily going to receive him with a dream that one day I will also travel by plane.

Ups and downs are part of life. Every individual has to face it. But there are few people who like to glorify their sufferings. Having a conversation with them is nothing but listening to their tales of misfortune. On narrating these tales, they feel relieved (and you feel frustrated). It is important and beneficial to give a full stop to whatever has happened in life and move on. It is the basic principle of life that whatever you focus on, increases/ multiplies in your life. So if your mind is engaged in recreating your sufferings, your sufferings will multiply. Similarly if your mind is engrossed in positive and happy experiences the same will increase by leaps and bounds and your life will be bliss.  The saying ‘happy goes lucky’ stands true as it is based on the said principle. However it is equally true that better said than done. But, through practice we can achieve this. Let us start practicing positive thinking and giving a stop to unpleasant for 5 minutes. Slowly let us extend this time from minutes to hours, hours to days, day to months and then ultimately to our entire lives. Be happy as there is nothing serious about life.

Om shanti. Let us begin with a story. Many many years ago, there were no schools and colleges. The students learnt as per the Gurukul system, where the pupil stayed at their master’s house and gained knowledge.  A  young lad wanted to be a lawyer. He approached a teacher who taught law and expressed his desire to learn law. The master happily agreed. “What about your fees?” asked the student. “You will have to pay Rs.1000, the day I feel you have become capable of winning your first case.” said the master. The pupil agreed and his education started. Days became months and months became years. One fine day the master told his pupil that he had become capable of winning his first case and hence must pay Rs.1000. The pupil refused to pay anything to his master. His master filed a case in the court of Law. “May Lord!” said the master. “No matter whether I win this case or not my pupil is liable to pay me Rs.1000. If I win this case you will order him to pay me the said amount. In case I lose this case that shows that my pupil has become competent to win his first case and therefore he is liable to pay me the said amount” “Your Lordship! The same stands true in my case as well!” roared the pupil. “If I win this case there is no question of paying my Master anything. If I lose it is evident that I have not yet become competent of winning my first case and therefore I am not liable to pay anything.” Now you tell me what the judge would do. If you were the judge what your verdict would be. (The crowd is silent). The Judge adjourned the matter sine die.  And the matter has not come up till date. Today’s courts also continue the same tradition. The matters keep pending for years together. However this does not affect the zeal of the litigants. The litigants keep on fighting irrespective of the outcome. Even after knowing that both the parties suffer financially, emotionally and are worn out over a period of time, why do people fight? All of you have tied Rakhis on your wrists. Rakhi is a symbol of love, affection and brotherhood. Why does not this love, affection and brotherhood continue throughout the year, rather throughout your lives.  People say that the stress in their lives causes heartburns, they do not intend to hurt anyone, but the tensions burst out in the form of bad words we never wish to use. There was a client of mine called Hasmukhbhai.  Hasmukhbhai had lost everything in the earthquake at Bhuj. Thereafter, he migrated to Mumbai and started a small shop. He met me in relation to some litigation of his shop.  I won the case and Hasmukhbhai was very impressed with me. “Mahesss bhai aapko mere ghar ana hi padega”. After much haggling I agreed to visit Hasmukhbhai’s home the next day. “Which tree is this?” I asked Hasmukhbhai pointing towards a tree standing tall at the entrance of his house. “Mahesss bhai. This is problem tree.” “Problem tree?” I asked staring alternately at the tree and Hasmukhbhai. “Yes problem tree. Whenever I return from my shop in evenings, I am burdened with problems. However, I make it a point to park all my worries on this tree, so that I can see the beautiful smile of my young daughter, see my toddler son walk; enquire to my old parents about their health. The next morning when I leave for the shop, I carry all my problems again back to work.” For a young child his father is his world. The child waits for hours in the evenings to see his father who will return from his work. “My daddy strongest” yells the child looking his father enter the house. Even a candy worth 50 paise brought by the father makes the child happy. Twenty years later, when the child goes to college, his reaction on seeing his father back home is “Aa gaya Buddha, abhi  lecture marega” .  What happened in the last 20 years that the relation went sour; a wall was built between the relations. The wall although invisible is an outcome of human ego. It is important to break this glass. GLASS breaking technique is helpful to break the glass and let the love and affection flow. G stands for gratitude. Show gratitude towards all the people who have helped you in some or other way. “Thanks buddy. Had you not been there this task would have been impossible.” Words like this will make the heart go fonder. L stands for listening. Many a times only listening to people makes them happy and cheerful. This is especially true in the case of senior citizens. Just give them a few minutes of patient listening and they are all yours. A stands for appreciation. Genuinely appreciate the good qualities of others. S stands for smile. The universal language. If you see any one gloomy and depressed, give him a big smile and ask “hey brother! What is the problem?” The last S is the easiest to say, but difficult to implement. S for sorry. Whenever you are wrong admit it and say sorry. At times even though you are not wrong, saying sorry solves the problems.  I pray to the Almighty that the let love and affection flow throughout your lives and grow by leaps and bounds. Om Shanti!

Dil to Pagal hai is the bible of my life. The film has had a great influence on me. I can relate to almost every character in the film . Like Nisha I too loved my best friend, but she never realized it. Rather even though she realized it, she ignored me. She hailed from a rich family. I was always there with her in all her thick and thin. But unfortunately she never realized it. Like Rahul she has never ever remembered my birthday in the past 13 years.  I felt she had only got sympathy and nothing else for me.

            Like Rahul I also did not believe in marriages. However, now my views are changing. I am about to say yes to someone whom I know, but do not love.  She loves me a lot. Like Anjali my friend keeps on warning me not to go ahead with the marriage, as I do not love her. I am ready to marry her only because she loves me and I do not want to hurt her. My friend advises me not to commit the mistake of marring a person on sympathetic ground.

            It is said that Karisma Kapoor’s role was earlier offered to Juhi Chawla, Kajol and Urmila Matondkar.  However all of them refused the same.  The same happened to me. My school teachers always ridiculed me underestimated me. I had got distinction in my first year of five year law course. Only two students in the university including me had got distinction. One morning our college peon told me that the principal had summoned me. I thought I was going to get firing as that was the only reason why I was being called in my school. I went into his chamber bit hesitantly, afraid with what future had instored for me. My principal was on a look out for students who will argue in the state level moot court competition which my college was hosting. He had offered the same to some of final year students but they had refused the same as they were reluctant (afraid) to perform in the home ground in front of the entire college. My principal offered me the same.  He clearly told me that he did not expect me to win in the very first year, but thought I would be seasoned by the time I reached my final year. I happily consented. A final year student who happened to be Ex Chief Minister’s grand daughter was to be my team mate. She played lot of dirty politics to ensure that I was not getting the proper guidance.  She exhibited jealous feelings in the same fashion as Nisha did towards Puja.   I decided to quit. My Principal fired me and said whatsoever may be the reason I cannot back out at this stage.  Like Puja I told him I cannot do it. I was in just second year. During the first two years of five year law course only social sciences are taught and the laws begin only from the third year.

I worked very hard, carried out extensive research and rehearsed n number of times before all my teachers including Additional district and Sessions judge. My team mate refused to rehearse and cunningly copied all my research. Finally the D day had come. We were listed second last. I did not eat anything. It was at about 3p.m. our number was called out. I was tensed, but I argued confidently. I satisfied all the queries put by the panel of judges. After our arguments got over I stepped out of the court room. All my Professors including my Principal and my college mates were staring me like an animal in the zoo.  I wondered what had got wrong. I felt like locking myself in the loo. One of my seniors Abhijeet, a final year student came to me.  He congratulated me. “That was a great performance. Your confidence has increased. All of us are expecting the prize.”, said Abhijeet.   Two students from some other team approached me.  “How did you prepare for the competition?” one of them asked. “I am second year student. You are in your final year. How can I guide you?” I replied. “Oh! You are just being humble” he said.

            The valedictory session started. My heart started beating fast. “And the runner up is…… N. S. Law College” We had won. I had created a history by winning a state level competition for the first time in the 40 years history of my college. I clapped loudly and went to the dais , along with my team mate to receive the trophy.  My team mate also got the Best Advocate prize.  After the function I visited my Principal to seek his blessings. “Congratulations!  From day one I knew you are the one who can do it! Keep it up! You lost the best advocate prize only by one mark.” I was very disappointed. She had copied my research and she had won. “It was not in your destiny. She comes from a dirty politician’s family.” told one of my lecturers with whom I shared my grief. “Mahesh there is always a slight bias towards females and the same has happened. Do not worry you have a very bright future!” said Additional District and Sessions judge. However, it pinched me that someone else had won at my expense.

            Like Rahul my principal was on a look out for someone who will fit the bill and according her I was the perfect choice. Karisma got National Award for her performance and her career raised to new heights. I was nominated as a member in the “Litigation free village Committee” chaired by the Hon’ble District and Sessions Judge.  At 18, I was the only member under 40 in the said committee.  A car with red beacon used to escort me for the venue. Indeed the moot court competition and Dil to Pagal Hai continue to be very special for me and mark a turning point in my life.

Yesterday was friendship day. I  received messages from many friends. Friends who had never ever bothered to ask me how I was through out the year, remembered me and wished me. I really wondered is friendship reduced to a mere formality of sending a message like that for diwali or new year. I spent the entire day with my best friend. He (as usual) came late. I was waiting for more than an hour at the Premiere theatre where we were supposed to meet. He came one hour late. I was very angry  and irritated standing on the road. I had already booked ticket for 12.30 p.m. show of  “ Jane tu ya jane na…” He came one hour late. I was very angry and neither of us wished each other. I told him that as we had decided we will have our breakfast together, I did not have had it and I was extremely hungry. We went to a near by restaurant. I ordered idli sambhar. My friend already had his breakfast as his young nephew insisted on having breakfast .My friend tried to start a conversation. I clearly told him that  I was angry at him and I was not in a position to speak any thing unless something went into my stomach. After having a few morsels of steamed idli, both of us had a good laugh. We went to my place, chatted for some time and left for the movie. I did not like the movie, but he enjoyed  it.  After the movie we had  lunch together. “Let  us go to Bandstand”, he said after viewing visuals of Bandstand in the movie. “No I am too tired. Let us go home and chat” I said. We came home.  He was about to leave at 6.30 p.m. I accompanied him to the Bus stop, about half an hour from my place.  “When will you take your tiffin?”, he asked. “By 8.30. My tiffin gets ready only by 8.30p.m.” I replied. My mess is near the bus stop and I had to walk again at 8.30 p.m for about thirty minutes. My friend chatted with me at the bus stop upto 8.30 p.m. so that I need not walk again. That is friendship. My friend always considers my convenience. He is my midnight friend. I am indeed fortunate to have a friend like him.

Everybody has a past. A dark past we hide from the rest of the world. This past is known to few people and to hide this past we even avoid or severe the ties with these people. But your past, sometimes confronts you. The past is although unknown to the people in your mind, your mind knows it and even on minor enquiries you apprehend whether they have come to know about your past. This past recreates the situations which have had already occurred for n number of times.  Rather you try to reconstruct your past: this should have been done in this manner, I should have reacted way, I should have said a firm “No” and so on our thoughts go on. But the fact is neither the past can be reconstructed nor may it reoccur.

The solution is to give a full stop to your past. Yes we all of us make mistakes in our lives. The same mistake/ problem will reoccur again and again unless we learn the lesson it intends to teach us. So let us get rid of our past and enjoy our ‘Present’.

My birthday was just round the corner. My friend Virendra asked me what you want on your birthday. “  You kick your habit of smoking” I replied promptly . “That would be too expensive” said Virendra  while he puffed smoke from his mouth. We had dinner at a restaurant on birthday. I persuaded the girls in my group to leave as they were getting late. The girls smelt a cat. “Are the guys going to drink” asked one girl . To which the other replied “Have you gone mad. No one drinks after having food”

The girls left. After some time we guys walked out of the restaurant. I offered Virendra  a cigarette at a nearby thela. “I know you would not be treated properly unless I offer you the same.” I giggled. Virendra merrily enjoyed his smoke.

“Hey Mahesh I have given up smoking” Virendra told me. “I was going to give it up on your birthday only. But you yourself offered me the cigarette so I could not resist.”

The next week end I had been to Lonavala. After getting thoroughly wet in the waterfalls and the water reservoir one of my friends lighted the cigarette and had a smoke. “Have it” he offered me. “I do not smoke” I replied. “Where we smoke regularly. It is on occasions like this. We are thoroughly wet smoke will keep us warm.” I took the lighted cigarette in my two fingers. After holding it for a minute but without having a single puff I returned it to my friend.

When I came back to Mumbai I called up Virendra and narrated him the entire incident. “ I was afraid that I gave up and you started it” replied Virendra. “ I did the right thing na?” I asked him. “yes absolutely.” he replied.

I called up Virendra after a fortnight. After chatting for a while I asked him “ so how is your vow of abstinence” “ I have breached it last week. When there are so many friends of mine who smoke, I could not resist it for long time.” replied  Virendra.

Looking good is very important these days. The media by all means is busy convincing us how important  it is to look good. All these celebrities are too careful about their looks. Salman Khan had a hair weaving for the second time. Even an actress like Kajol who cared a damn about her looks (as according to her what she did in front of the camera was much more important than how she looked in front of it), tries to look her best with make up and not to forget the well threaded eye brows.

            The media has a far reaching effect on our lives. The young generation is obsessed with looking good. They want to be the best, unfortunately only about looks. The perfect dress, accessories, gadgets, gym, and beauty parlours for both men and women. If a person dresses in casuals, he becomes uncle, aunty and a standing joke of the group. The present generation pays hardly any attention towards being good. The obsession to be the best is unfortunately absent in case of career and relationship.

            Even I belong to the present generation. I am tall, lanky and fair. But my hairline is receding and the same is giving me sleepless nights and disturbing me every now and then. I am successful in terms of career and relationships. I keep on convincing that being good is much more important looking good. But the thought that my hair line is receding disturbs me a lot.

Every matrimonial advertisement in the newspapers uses the adjectives like fair, beautiful, homely for girls and handsome, well settled, earning in six figures for boys. This makes me wonder what one should look for in his/her prospective spouse. Is beauty the only quality of woman that makes the marital life bliss? Is the money that the boy brings home sufficient to pump happiness into the relationship?

The answers to these questions being subjective may vary from person to person. Indeed I am wondering if I get a beautiful wife, what a big difference is her beauty going make to my life. Yes, the society may appreciate her beauty and my luck on every possible occasion.  But whether her beauty will assure my happiness.

The girl who loves me is not beautiful in the conventional sense of the term. She is hardly four feet tall ( I am a six footer),  is dark in complexion ( I am fair) and wears specs.  But she cares for me a lot. My single sneeze will give her sleepless nights. For her I am at her centre of her happiness. Whether I am with her or not, she only wants me to be happy. Yes I have got a beautiful body, but her soul is more beautiful than mine.

Nishith was a hardworking, sincere and a man of high morals. He never partied, spoke on phone for long hours or spent on clothes, gazettes and other luxurious goods like his friends. He worked really hard, He worked with utmost sincerity. Whatever he earned, he deposited the same in his bank account. He never borrowed a single rupee from any one . He loved eating in hotels. The figure shown in the bill pinched him, but he did it with a guilt that he was spending money. He always opted for cheap  goods and articles.  He gifted his friends with various articles on occasions like birth days, but he did not do it whole heartedly. His mind was always turmoiled with the thought that the amount in his account was getting sunk.

            One day Nishith was on his way home. He was waiting for the local train at the Churchgate station. The train was expected in two minutes. He leaned on the platform to see whether the train was arriving. His attention was drawn by a girl who was staring him from other end of the platform. She was an average looking girl. But the very fact that a girl was continuously staring  at him was enough to Nishith to lose his senses.

            The girl started walking towards the ticket counter. By gazing Nishith at her every move she ensured that he was following her. She climbed up the stairs near the ticket counter, which led to various administrative offices of the railways. Nishith now fully smitten by her beauty and empowered by lust or natural instinct as you put it, he followed her. “Come let us go to the bathroom.” she said in a coarse but seductive voice. “No I wont be comfortable here. I do have a place at Sion. Let us go there.” replied Nishith .By this time the train had arrived. Nishith and the girl both boarded the train. The girl kept on instigating Nishith by touching him at the right/wrong places.

They got down at Sion. They came out of the station.

Suddenly Nishith’s high morals raised their voice. “Whether I am doing the right thing?” his conscience asked him. “No……….” replied his inner voice. “Sorry I can not do that.” said Nishith to the girl. “What? Have you gone nuts? Why did you bring me here? What do you think you can take me for a ride?” “I am really sorry dear friend! Some other day. I am in no mood” Nishith persuaded. “Shut up. Do you know whom am I? I am the sister of Inspector Shinde of Colaba police station. Chal kharcha paani nikal or else I will put you behind the bars.” Nishith took out a ten rupee note out of his valet.

“Do you think I am a beggar?” she said followed by unquotable gaalis. “Come on the side of the road.” She pulled him on the side of the road. “Give me all your money” Nishith gave her all the money in the valet. “Aur paisa Nikal. Is it the money from your office? Place it in my hands. I swear by the name of Sai Baba, I will return it to you. ”

Nishith gave the money in his safe pocket. “How much do they make?” she asked in a rude tone. “Around 1800” Nishith replied. “ I have sworn by the name of Sai Baba so I will have to return it to you. But…” “Please pardon me and let me go.” pleaded Nishith. “Shut your mouth and sit here or else I will create a scene here. Do you want me to do that.” the girl said. “What is in your pocket?” the girl snatched the contents of his pocket of the shirt, which included his atm cards, railway pass and his cell phone. “What is in your bag?” Nishith’s bag was turned upside down, but in vain. “As I have sworn by the name of Sai Baba I will have to return your money. We can withdraw money using this.” She pointed towards his ATM card.  “You give me Rs.1000 I will return your Rs.1700” So both of them walked to the ATM. She returned him his mobile phone and ATM card. He withdrew Rs.1000 and handed it over to her. “Come on accompany me to the Church gate station.” “Settle the matter now” Nishith pleaded.  “Do you want to be battered by the police until you turn blue” “Please pardon me. Return the amount you had promised” “Shut up you bastard. Do not be over smart. You fucker! What did you think I did not see you tearing the Atm slip in to pieces? Now nothing for you. Turn your back and get lost you rascal.” Nishith turned back and walked towards his residence. He was left with no money. He ensured that the girl was not following him. He withdrew some money from the atm.

            Yes he was duped. But the incident taught him the following things:

1. Positive thinking. He thanked God that his mobile, ring, bracelet, watch were spared.
2. He learnt not to fall prey to any to the charms of any girl.
3. He learnt to keep his word. Think twice before you commit and do not think any thing once you commit.
4. He learnt that money was a means to achieve things and not an end in itself. He realized the futility of only increasing his bank balance. He may die one day, he may be duped. So he learnt to spend the money on himself and others without any kind of guilt.
5. He learnt that he had gained his mental equilibrium in couple of hours. He overcame the shock very soon and learned the lesson that experience had taught him and marched ahead in his life without any guilt. Every experience keeps on repeating unless you learn what it has to teach.

P.S: The above post is based on a real life incident. I appeal to all my readers to contribute such experiences which they or their friends or relatives have encountered so that we can prevent many other people who may get duped and who can not complain due to fear of losing reputation – MAHESH SOWANI